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Say hello to Daniel. Danny is one of life’s failures –- no matter what he turns his hand to, he can’t seem to make any headway. Although he gets an A for effort, Daniel’s scamming career is a catalogue of letdowns and disappointment. That’s not to say that he does not try -- Danny has his chubby fingers in many scamming pies: love scams, trunk boxes, and lottery wheezes. The problem is he is so inept that no victim has paid him yet.
He specializes (and we use the term very loosely) in love scams: trying to convince some poor guy that he is some kind of sex god and talking them into sending him a few bucks. The thing is, Danny really likes the guys -– and we mean really likes them. He fills his day writing bad gay poetry to other men and telling them how much he wants hot love action. Consider this tear-jerking email:
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Hi how are you? Please my dear I want you to think of when you will put your big dick in me, I will like it very much to feel it. Then I do that to you to and I like it a lots.
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In fact, Danny set up a whole religious sect in honor of his gayness. He preaches to his disciples as the "head bender in chief," a most fitting title.
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"Brothers, are we not gay for Jesus?"
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The head bender in chief |
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Alas, Daniel is going to be a disappointment not only to his mother but also to the other men he wants to have gay sex with: he has a teeny, tiny penis. Don’t believe us? Take a look at these pictures: although he’s having a mouthful it’s doubtful that his special friend will still be smiling when it comes to his turn.
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Danny goes down from the left...
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.... or from the right. |
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Get a load of that pork-fed gut. |
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But what he lacks in endowment, maybe Danny can make up in charm. Here's what he had to say to one of his gay lovers:
| While I sleep, I start to dream of you, and when I awake, I realize my wish has come true. I lay awake and I see visions of you kissing me, holding me and as I close my eyes and once again, I start to dream a magic dream of my prince.
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You’ll also note that Danny is something of a fat bastard, which begs the question –- where does he get the money for so many pies when his scamming is so pitifully unsuccessful? Far be it for us to suggest that he earns his pastry money from servicing the sexual needs of the gentlemen of Lagos, but if the hat fits....
We'll leave you with one more picture of Daniel. Thankfully, this time he's fully clothed.
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Stylin', gay Danny Uchendu |
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[Date of entry: Jan. 13, 2006]
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